FIVE THINGS THAT DRIVE MODELS MAD

1. ‘Midgetising’ us

We all despair when this happens. You’re 6ft1, we’re 5ft5, you’re standing

close looking down on our legs with a 24mm lens, and the result is a picture

which would lead the viewer to believe that we have dwarfism. Not only

does this make us look awful, but close proximity to us can make us feel

uncomfortable. Get back, get lower, increase your focal length, and see us

bloom in proportional beauty! Not only does midgetising us look weirdly

out of proportion, and makes us feel bad, but it makes your images look

amateurish.

2. Asking us to wear that same old sheer thing again

Sheer things look beautiful, sensual and dreamy: we get it. It’s just when

we spend lots of money buying unique and interesting outfits to create a

diverse wardrobe for our photographers and the photographers won’t try

anything different: they opt for that white negligee yet again. It’s not that

we don’t like the sheer stuff, it’s just that we are itching to show you how

good it is to try different things. Some of us also feel a little guilty doing

the same thing for different photographers, and want to be giving you a

unique set of images, rather than repeating the same stuff over and over

again. So let’s get creative a little and see what we can come up with.

Photographer: Ged carton

3. Ramping up the clarity on our skin

SilverFX Pro is often talked about as one of the top plug-ins for Photoshop

editing, and the structure (clarity) setting is great for making things look

aged. Walls, floorboards, even old guys faces all look great. But please, not

our skin! I’ve seen this effect ruin beautiful images, and something in me

dies a little bit. Some photographers think it is an easy way to add

‘atmosphere’ to images, or maybe they can’t work out how to use layer

masks. I’ve used clarity many times myself, masking it onto wooden floors

etc, but always avoid adding clarity to the skin of female models because it

highlights and enhances every line, red patch, scar and wrinkle and makes

her look twenty years older.

An example of the effect too much clarity has on female faces

4. Arriving 45 minutes early for a home shoot

We understand you’re eager to shoot, and it’s not that we don’t like you.

On the contrary, we love working with you. It’s just that we want to be

able to do our hair and make-up, feed ourselves, and sing loudly to our

cheesy music while getting ready without having to come and let you in,

and then feel rushed while you loiter in the other room waiting to start.

Some guys continue shooting until the last possible minute, and then take

thirty minutes or more to pack up. That just isn’t fair on the model. If you

have so much stuff that it takes you more than ten minutes to pack it away,

hen please finish the shoot early so that your packing up is part of our paid

shoot time. We may have other things to do, places to go, children to feed,

and cannot be kept waiting for ages after the agreed end time.

"He can't be here already!" by Paulseds

5. Saying: “look at the camera as though it’s your boyfriend”

This one is just cringeworthy. Ask us for a sexy look, ask us for a sultry look, but never ask us to ‘make love to the camera’. There are lots of ways of explaining the expression you want without expecting method acting. Most of us have a broad repertoire of expressions, and can usually summon up the correct one to suit the circumstances. One photographer suggested that I might need to practice doing expressions prior to the shoot. I explained that I wouldn’t need to practice because like most human beings I use different expressions many times every day.